You know that little voice that tells you aren’t good enough, or questions your every move until you feel like it is easier to not even try? When we are unsure if we can do something, we often reel in self-doubt. We all experience it from time to time, even the most successful, outgoing people! Self-doubt usually stems from fear in one form or another. Maybe a fear of how things will turn out. Or fear of what others will think. Fear of failure is a popular reason people don’t even get started on something. These fears often stem from past experiences, moments from our childhood and upbringing, that have been ingrained in us for years, so it is not always an easy thing to overcome!
Think of fear as a survival mechanism. I once read an analogy about touching a hot stove as a child. We touch it, get hurt and our mind says ‘never do that again’. Thankfully! We generally learn pretty quickly, but the problem is when we have fear about something that isn’t real, or that could be overcome, but we don’t try for fear of being hurt again. Thankfully there is a multitude of things you can do to work on overcoming your self-doubt, and by finding one or two that work for you, and implementing them regularly, you will soon start to see your confidence increase. Here are my top 3 tips for overcoming self-doubt.
Really look at the language you use when engaging in that internal dialogue with yourself. Your mind will believe what you tell it. Try changing your stories and the outcome will also change. For example, instead of saying ‘oh my gosh, everyone is going to judge me for doing x’, tell yourself the truth. The truth is ‘people will admire my courage for giving x a go’. Remind yourself that just because you believed it once, doesn’t mean you need to believe it forever. Just because a classmate told you that you weren’t good enough at something when you were 6 years old, does not mean you are not good enough at x now.
I LOVE affirmations! The trick is finding something that resonates with you and putting it into action when you feel self-doubt creeping in. it could be something as simple as ‘I deserve happiness and will make it a priority today’. Or ‘Self-doubt is natural, but does not define me’. Or ‘I am safe, valued and worthy’.
What is the best possible outcome for the scenario at hand, and what is the worst? Give them a score. Usually the payoff trumps the possible negative outcome! Also, consider the flow on effect from the positives – often there is many! Then, look at all the things that need doing to achieve your desired outcome. For example, if you are wanting to write a book but have self-doubt around your ability to have enough content, think about what it is you actually need. You might need to write 10 chapters in total. Once you determine all that is needed, break it up into manageable pieces. There is no need to be overwhelmed by the entire task – simply work on one piece at a time.
Self-doubt holds us back from living the life we want. By overcoming that doubt, we open doors to opportunity and freedom. With opportunity and freedom comes happiness. You are enough. Get out there and reach for all your heart desires!