10 Negative (And Harmful) Things You Need To Stop Telling Yourself
Try as we might, sometimes, we can be a little mean to ourselves. While we all know that we should be kind and boost ourselves up, old habits die hard. Now and then, we say and think hurtful things about ourselves for no reason at all. It’s toxic. So, with that in mind, here are ten little things that you have to stop telling yourself.
1. “That will never look good on me!”
We’ve all been there — you see the perfect dress or lingerie set and instantly fall head over heals in love with it. Then that teeny-tiny niggling voice in the back of your head starts to chime in on the conversation. “That will never suit you” it says with a wicked laugh. Here’s a pro tip. Ignore that horrid little gremlin voice and treat yourself. Everything looks fabulous when you feel good in it so wear that special thing and wear it with confidence.
2. “I’d be happier if…”
Spoiler alert: Happiness is a choice. Few people want to admit that, but it’s the truth. Having the perfect life, friends, partner or body does not make you happy. You might think that it will but it’s nothing short of an illusion. No, true happiness comes from within. It’s something that we choose to be each and every day and, yes, you can work on it. Taking the time to assess your moods and alter them is a mentally healthy thing to do. So, go ahead, and make some time for yourself.
3. “No one will ever love me”
First of all, we’re not in a Disney movie here and the love of Prince Charming is not going to solve all your problems. Sorry. What’s more, if you’re capable of giving love you most certainly deserve to get love back in return. Focus on loving yourself and others will want to follow suit. That means taking the time to see what’s so utterly special about the person you are and taking the time to adore it. Go on. You deserve it.
4. “I wish I was skinnier”
Spending all of your time wishing you could change your body is downright harmful. It has to stop. The world (okay, the media!) would have us believe that if we were stick thin model types, we’d be happy, rich, and powerful. It’s a lie. Stop wishing you could change your body and start appreciating it instead. For example, you may want to use a few #BoPo quotes as mantras each day to get you started.
5. “I’m not good enough!”
Sometimes, the world is a hard place. It may feel as though you’re constantly trying to measure up to the image of an ‘ideal woman’ and forever falling short. Here’s a secret that you already know deep down inside: There is no perfect person. No one is flawless. What’s more, you are the very best version of yourself that you can be. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. You just need to be you. With a little daily dose of self-love, you can change how you feel in no time.
Related: 6 Daily Practices For Self Love
6. “Everyone thinks I’m ugly/stupid/fat”
Why on earth are you so concerned with what other people think of you? It’s easy to get wrapped up in a mind-muddle of other people’s opinions, but it’s not at all healthy. The honest truth of the matter is that no one thinks about you as much as you imagine. They have their own hangups to stress about and are probably just as anxious about what people think as you are. These insults and criticisms are of your making, which means you can destroy them just as easily too.
7. “I hate [insert hangup] about my body”
We’ve all been guilty of this mistake now and then. Fixating on something you dislike about your body is a surefire way to kill your self-esteem one harmful thought at a time. Rather than spending time focussing on the things you don’t like, you need to focus on what you do. You could even write them down. Think about the things you love about your body — from the way your hair looks to the color of your eyes — and pay some real attention to them for a change. You may find it makes all the difference.
8. “I’m not worthy of anything or anyone”
Feelings of worthlessness are dangerous. There’s no one on this planet who isn’t a worthwhile human being. When you start to feel as though you’re not of value to anything and anyone, it’s time to change your mindset. Again, it may help you to write a few things down. You could list the people who care about you. Then the people who rely on you. Then the people who go out of their way to make you smile. Realizing that people do truly care about you could be the first step to getting rid of these thoughts.
9. “I wish I looked like her!”
Ah, jealousy! You probably wondered when this nasty green-eyed girl would make the list. Comparing yourself to other people or, more specifically, other women is one of the most harmful things you can do. It’s easy to see others through rose-tinted glasses and believe that everything about them is just perfect, but it’s just not the case. Be yourself. You’re incredible. Don’t try to be anyone else.
10. “No one understands how I feel!”
Okay, this is perhaps the biggest lie you can ever tell yourself. Everyone out there understands how you feel. To have these thoughts is human. It’s natural. If you feel as though you’re constantly putting yourself down for no good reason (and there is no good reason!), you should 100% reach out to your friends and loved ones. The chances are that they know just how you feel and have felt the same in the past. What’s more, they will tell you the truth — that you’re a wonderful human being and you need to remember that!
Today is the day to stop the negative self-talk.
If no one has told you yet today, you are beautiful, you are worthy of happiness, you are good enough, you are loved, your body is perfect as it is, you are worthy of everything you desire, and you are heard and understood (even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes). More important than anything else, you don’t need our permission to break the chain of negativity. And you certainly don’t need society’s permission. Or your boyfriend’s or your mother’s or your best friend’s permission. It all starts with you.
So, what are three things you love about yourself? Do you have a wicked sense of humor? A kind heart? If we were to ask one of your closest friends or family members, what would they say they love most about you? Tell us in the comments below!